NOTE

“Amariyah Matthews will be delivering todays workshop. Class please give her a round of applause.”

The Markison college students cheered and applauded as she took the microphone stand. This was her third workshop of this term and already, her careers solutions services were gaining nationwide and international recognition. At thirty-two years of age she had a successful thriving business, a loving husband, wonderful friends, siblings and colleagues. However, today, as most years, was a particularly tough day for her, marking the ten-year anniversary of her parent’s tragic car accident. Amariyah never recalled having the time to grieve properly. Crazy as it may seem, she was immediately thrown into a parental role, helping out with her younger sister, Analise and brother Samuel aged seventeen and thirteen at the time. She picked up multiple jobs, moved them into her flat and became their sole provider. The social services teams fought hard with her to put Samuel into foster care, but she made sure she was always financially viable, stable and had enough to provide for him and Analise; eventually they gave up. She always protected them, never showed her grief or any sad emotions in front of them. She never let them see her cry, always picked them up when they were feeling low.

In her success books, she spoke of what motivated her to become a renowned business woman – she attributed it to dogged determination and wanting to be the best whilst inspiring others. The truth is, the real reason was that she wanted to ensure her siblings had the best life possible. Nothing more. Nothing less. However, now they were older and both had successful careers and their own homes, it felt like time to retire from it all.

“Well hello group” Amariyah beamed enthusiastically. “Let’s start off by listing what inspires you most, and we’ll work from there….”

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8pm came and the workshop was over. Some of the students handed over the homework task she had set from her previous workshop, (to write a future inspiring note to themselves). She packed them all into her bag.

As she was hurrying out the classroom, she noticed one of the student’s homework paper under her desk, it must have dropped from her pile she thought. She quickly folded it, and put it in her pocket. She felt so exhausted and drained. A lady passed her in the hallway, then quickly doubled back. “Excuse me …” “ Mrs Matthews my daughter is already in the car, but can I quickly speak with you please?”

“Sure thing” Amariyah smiled instinctively, stopping in her tracks.

“Well I just want to say my daughter Jaqueline attended one of your older workshops a few years back. She was going through a very tough time during that period, you helped pull her out of it. I just want to say thank you. Now she is inspiring others!” She smiled.

Amariyah smiled. “Ms?”

“It’s Jacobs” the lady replied.

“Yes. Ms Jacobs, what was the name of the workshop of mine that she attended?” Amariyah asked.

Ms Jacobs – “It was called the Mark-Paula session”

Amariya – “Wow that was my first ever session, I named it after my parents”.

Ms Jacobs – “Well they must be very proud, you’re doing a great job”

“Thank you” Amariyah smiled and turned away… She didn’t want her to see her cry.

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As Amariyah got into her car she gave a quick call to her husband James, to explain the workshop had gone well but she will be running late to get home. Tired, she commenced her two-hour drive. As she drove on, it started to become dark. She was passing her favourite bridge in central London, when she thought, why not get some fresh air?

She stopped the car and stepped out. Walked over to the edge and peered over at the deep and dark river. Looking across the bridge at the rest of London. This is beautiful, she thought. She leaned on the edge of the bridge staring at the river for what felt like several minutes. Taking in deep breaths. It’s been a great day. *sighs* and I’m so tired, she thought. Then for the first time ever, and only for a millisecond, she thought, “What if I jumped??”. The wind started to blow strongly, her heart started to beat faster and faster at the thought of it. What if??… What if?… The note that was in her pocket began to slip out, she went to grab it, before the wind took it away…

*Everything went dark*

She could hear what sounded like her mother’s voice in the distance. “Ama not yet!”… “Ama go back!”

Things became brighter, she saw two little girls, running in a field, it looked like her and Analise when they were younger. “Mummy, Mummy” the girls laughed as they ran.

“Mum???” she asked….

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“Ama, Ama!!!” . “Doctor… I think she is coming around!!” – Amariyah’s husbands voice rang in the distance.

Amariyah opened her eyes, to find herself in a bed at the hospital. James scrambling to find the Doctor. Her head was sore and bandaged.

“Hiii there Amariyaaah” said the Doctor. “Nothing to worry about, you are at Tomsmith hospital. You gave us a bit of a fright when you slipped and fell! Luckily a lovely lady who was walking her dog at the time, called the ambulance”.

Amariyah looked at them in awe… She hadn’t jumped, she thought, closing her eyes and sighing with relief. Thank goodness, she had not jumped!

The Doctor continued, “Besides a slight concussion, so far everything else seems fine, once your last blood test results come in, we can discharge you!”

Amariyah grabbed James and gave him a tight hug. “I love you” she whispered.

“I love you too” he said. “Want to tell me why you got out on the bridge?”.

She pulled away and looked at his lovely brown eyes and saw the strong etch of concern on his face. “Oh, babe you know I like to do weird sight-seeing” she laughed it off.

He stared into her eyes long and hard. She broke eye contact first. “James, babe, stop worrying, I promise I won’t do so that late in the night again” she said.

James took out a note from her coat pocket. “By the way, the lady found this note under your arm, I think it’s from one of your students”. He gave it to her.

“I have called your siblings to…”

“I hope you’ve told them nothing to worry about and I’m okay??” she butted in, her protective instincts kicking in again.

“I’ve told them I will call again once we have the all clear from the doctor and you are discharged” he finished.

“Okay” she said

Now looking down at the letter, curious, she opened it up …

It read,

“Dear Amariyah,

I know this letter was meant to be written to my future self. Please don’t tell me off, or think it is weird, but I wrote it to the future you instead haha…

“If only you knew the growth you have made, the people you have touched and the lives that have been transformed by you and your journey. When you were at your absolute lowest, somehow, against all odds you made it through.

It proves that whatever struggles you face right now, you will eventually get through them. That, though you may have your bad days, you have an array of bright days ahead of you.

That, when you face failure you will learn from it and succeed. That when you become unemployed, you will eventually find a good job. That, when someone breaks your heart you will find love again. That, when you don’t know where your next meal will come from, you will find a way to survive. That, when you have nowhere to live, you will eventually find a place to call home. That, when you are very ill, you will make a full recovery…” Amariyah gasped

“That, when someone you love passes away, one day, through all the hurt, you’ll be able to carry on, knowing that they never truly left you; that they’ll always be with you. That, when you need a friend, one will turn up at the right time. That one day you may cry, yet another day you’ll have non-stop laughter.

That, when you face adversity you will overcome it. Because you always have; So you always will.

In the midst of trials, never forget how strong you are.

The letter ended with,

I hope to someday be like you… and maybe, hopefully save a life.

Thanks again. Jackie Jacobs – Year 12.

Tears rolled down Amariyah’s face as she smiled. Somehow, she knew, now more than ever, that she will be fine.

The doctor returned with one of her nurses as James went over to hug Amariyah again. She closed the door in a tentative manner.

“Please also take a seat Mr Matthews” She said.

He did so, and him and Amariyah stared at her in anticipation

“Ok both. It seems your bloods are back in. I’m not sure how we never managed to pick this up before… but congratulations Mr and Mrs Matthews, you’re expecting twins.”

by Jaaay