Community and environments we live in have much bigger influence on us than we may realise. When we’re younger it may feel so difficult and even near impossible to get away from close negative influences. However, we still want to try and prevent this from stagnating our progress to becoming our most fulfilled or even just happiest and healthiest selves.
Hence, we should still try counter all negative influences by ACTIVELY looking for positive and supportive people, environments and activities that keep challenging us to improve who we are and who we’re becoming. There will be things out of our control of course, but we can try pursue the things within our power to help improve our lives.
The below lists are not exhaustive and you’ve likely heard these before.
PEOPLE /ENVIRONMENTS TO TRY AVOID, or if they are very close to you and you can’t avoid them yet (family member etc) CHALLENGE them where safe to do so:
❌ People who try to constantly shut down your ideas, but they also never provide constructive criticism.
❌ Those who never contact you unless they need something from you. Nothing wrong in doing things for people, but there can’t be a significant imbalance of take no give.
❌ People who tell you ‘no’ but give you no good reason as to why not.
❌ People who only bring you gossip and drama and that fuels them
❌ Environments that encourage substance abuse
❌ Environments that encourage and allow violence against you. This is not normal, there is no excuse for this.
❌ Clubs and groups that limit your creativity and freedom and uphold biases which are projected onto you.
❌ Toxic relationships or people who you trauma bond with. This is easier said than done. Identifying it is the first step.
❌ People who constantly give you back handed compliments. It is a deliberate attack on your self esteem.
❌ People who never have anything positive to say about the achievements you share with them.
❌ People who are not happy and tell you ‘you’ve changed’ when the only changes you can see have been improvements in your life, your ambitions and your sense of self
PEOPLE AND ENVIRONMENTS TO CONSTANTLY SEEK ARE:
✅ People and communities that make you smile, laugh and feel free 🙂
✅ Advocates and/or mentors who understand your struggles and ambitions
✅ People or communities that encourage you to work through your toxic or bad habits and insecurities
✅ Look for role models who have overcome things similar to you if possible, otherwise start trying to become a role model that you didn’t have. We all benefit from being able to help others too.
✅ Environments that show you support in the here and now but also encourage you to aspire for better. One without the other is pointless.
✅ Keep looking for safe spaces to share and develop your ideas and hobbies
✅ Proactive support professionals or groups that help work through trauma, biases, limiting beliefs etc
✅ Seek positive and tenaciousness people who enjoy supporting you and providing constructive criticism
✅ Find clubs and environments of people with similar interests
✅ A good friend. People or someone who can provide emotional support when needed and vice versa.
✅ Honest people. They can tell you when you’re in the wrong and challenge you to do better and vice versa.
✅ Find friends who inspire you and vice versa!
✅ Keep looking to do things outside of your regular routine and comfort zone
✅ Take it a day at a time. As long as you’re actively finding happiness and progress, bit by bit you’ll see growth and fulfillment
Jaaay
#support #safespace #purpose #notraumabonds #notoxicrelationships #happiness #hobbies #outsidecomfortzone #challenge #freedom #choice #rolemodels #growth #community
J writes 